Just dumped $16,000 into my margin account as my margin level became dangerously close to below 140. Once that happens I will be margin called and have to swallow a loss. I hate taking a loss. I hate having to be forced to sell.

Just yesterday I thought I was comfortably above. But thanks to the market panic, it has dropped just like that.

My leverage is over $900,000. 40% is in cash-like holdings which should be in no danger of being called. But its the other 60% of European bank perpetuals bonds I just bought that in Jan 2020 is stressing me out.

Frustrated that I am in this situation. Just a few weeks ago, it all looked like sunshine and rainbows. I was proudly declaring how a financial crisis didn’t look possible and how clever I was to use leverage. Loaded up just before this black swan event. Sigh. Well done.

While I still have cash holdings, I have to lock up a substantial portion and not touch it so not to be forced to sell. There are so many good opportunities in the stock market now that I wish I could take advantage, but can’t.

Looking to deleverage a bit. Stock returns look good enough that it doesn’t need leveraging, and I won’t need to top-up if things keep going down.

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