I have been on an early retirement mode for a few months now. By my estimates, I have a passive monthly income of about $4,000, and that exceeds my expenses. That was of course before all this corona virus stuff and the subsequent market crash. But that is still mostly intact as the bonds continue paying their coupons (for the time being).
I thought that early retirement would be a relief, a chance to take a break and enjoy life for a bit.
But I feel restless. I have a family and a young child who is very close to me, but he goes to school. Playing video games or watching Netflix excessively makes me feel stupid and unhealthy. Travel now is obviously out of the question.
I envy my wife, who is meeting interesting people and has a friendly working environment. There is engagement and stimulation. In retirement, you must create these yourself.
I have learnt that, for myself at least, I must have something meaningful to do.
I think that is true for most people. You must figure out something to do. Staying at home to rot and escape is not a good option.
If I was healthy, I would find another more fulfilling job. It wouldn’t be too hard normally. But surprise, having cancer does not improve your employment prospects, and I find myself hesitant to be in unfamiliar territory.
While I had gone for 4 interviews in the past few months, none translated into offers. I felt the interviews went alright, the job skills seemed to fit, but no second interview. While a couple were not suitable, I felt disappointed that 2 of the ones I wanted didn’t come to anything.
I’m still thinking of going back to my old job. I haven’t quite left yet, just on a break. This wasn’t my preferred option as the work is a real grind, and was told I cannot be promoted. That would kill anyone’s motivation. But honestly, I can’t find any other interesting thing to do that pays as much, and I suppose it preferable to be around colleagues and earn some money.
Starting this blog did help in processing some of my thoughts and I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the response. It does encourage me to write more and put out better quality stuff.
I’m going to try and enjoy this break and get the most out of it. I’ve got till at least the end of Apr.
Who knows, something will come find me.