I’ve been a bit quiet. I had a CT-PET scan at the beginning of the week, and got the results back from the doctors yesterday. I always get a bit anxious when I get scans because you never know when you get a result that will throw life into turmoil again. I was hoping for a clean result so I can look forward to the rest of the year without too much fuss.
They found a spot on my prostrate that isn’t supposed to be there. It’s not unknown, and I had inflammation there that was investigated before in 2018. But apparently it has grown.
They will discuss it at their tumour board (a panel of cancer specialists) next Wednesday, and see what other tests they will do. It’s near certain I’ll have to do another MRI, which requires lying for hours in a long white tube. Docs say they don’t think its cancer, but given my history, they will be more risk-averse and do more investigations.
I don’t like to say it could have been a lot worse, and it could have been in my brain or lungs. Why do we compare ourselves to the lowest denominator? It’s cold comfort. I could just as well say it could have been a lot better.
I’m just pretty tired at this point. I don’t get why people my age are team leaders and doing well, while I have to keep getting jabbed and told bad news by doctors. It’s been three years of this. All I wanted to live was a normal life. Have two kids. Do something I can be proud of and makes decent money. But this life chose me.
Don’t worry it shouldn’t kill me. More likely if its cancer again, I’ll get another organ cut out of me, and then go through chemo and radiotherapy. It will maim me (again) but not kill me. Fantastic.
It will be another few weeks before I get the full results back. Its tough to wait. But like a lot of other things in life, it’s something I can’t control and will just have to manage.
Take care all