A Possible Cancer Recurrence

I’ve been a bit quiet. I had a CT-PET scan at the beginning of the week, and got the results back from the doctors yesterday. I always get a bit anxious when I get scans because you never know when you get a result that will throw life into turmoil again. I was hoping for a clean result so I can look forward to the rest of the year without too much fuss.

They found a spot on my prostrate that isn’t supposed to be there. It’s not unknown, and I had inflammation there that was investigated before in 2018. But apparently it has grown.

They will discuss it at their tumour board (a panel of cancer specialists) next Wednesday, and see what other tests they will do. It’s near certain I’ll have to do another MRI, which requires lying for hours in a long white tube. Docs say they don’t think its cancer, but given my history, they will be more risk-averse and do more investigations.

I don’t like to say it could have been a lot worse, and it could have been in my brain or lungs. Why do we compare ourselves to the lowest denominator? It’s cold comfort. I could just as well say it could have been a lot better.

I’m just pretty tired at this point. I don’t get why people my age are team leaders and doing well, while I have to keep getting jabbed and told bad news by doctors. It’s been three years of this. All I wanted to live was a normal life. Have two kids. Do something I can be proud of and makes decent money. But this life chose me.

Don’t worry it shouldn’t kill me. More likely if its cancer again, I’ll get another organ cut out of me, and then go through chemo and radiotherapy. It will maim me (again) but not kill me. Fantastic.

It will be another few weeks before I get the full results back. Its tough to wait. But like a lot of other things in life, it’s something I can’t control and will just have to manage.

Take care all


  1. Psalm 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging..

    God bless to you bro… 🙏

  2. Bro, I had many illnesses too in my 20 to 30s of age, and there is no cure and even no diagnosis, and visits to hospitals became part of my life, giving me a lot trouble in life. Likewise I feel that “why me?”. 5 years ago, I was challenged to read bible, but I seriously hated all these religious stuffs, and vehemently rejected the idea. Although I was told that Bible is not a religion, but a way of life (in truth, but many churches distorted it).

    Then one day, someone I respected who was unselfish and loving bought a book for me. He knew that I love financial market and bought a book by Jonathan Cahn titled “Harbinger” for me.
    At the same time, he asked me to download the bible app on my phone and bought me a bible but I locked it in the cupboard. Hated christianity since young!

    I read Harbinger and then started to research about history of Jews, and Jesus just for curiosity sake for almost 1 year. Many things took place in my life…. and as I research the history, I become curious about why the Bible is the best selling book of all time. It took me a year to finish reading the bible and writing notes and articles on it, and I was guided along the way how to read it.

    Surprisingly, the one year after reading the bible, my illness worsen initially (invisible enemy at war), but I am persistent and continue my research. Eventually my illnesses was overcome and no longer I required medication which I took for 8-10 years everyday. More miracles (at the same time) sufferings took place, but each time, the voice from the reading of the bible gave me encouragement. Most important of all, the words inscribed into my heart and gave me peace.

    I gave my life to God and bible became my favourite book, and I started recites the verses and many many more things happened. Even during sufferings, sometimes I suffered in joy while the word of God got embedded in me. I am not belonging to any building church, but the Bible and the invisible God became my life and gave me faith, hope and most important of all, love and share and care!

    My prayers for you and may God has a plan to prosper you and bless you eventually.

    God bless you.

    1. Hi Rolf, thanks for sharing your story. I had a similar winding path to find God. I couldn’t believe why loving God could create or allow a world with so much evil and injustice in it. But I came to accept that some things are not for man to know, and hope I can grow closer to having faith

  3. Hi Bro,

    Keep positive and keep the Hope. There is the One who is the True Source of hope. His Name was revealed to man when He came to the world, though He existed before the word was created. His name is Jesus and indeed He created the world. We don’t always know why we encounter hardships in our life, BUT walking with Him make things bearable as He carried us when we can no longer walk. I pray the best for your health and keep happy! God bless you.

    1. Hi Kyith, thanks for your message. I’ll be ok, sort of used to bad medical news at this point. All the best to you too

  4. Everybody’s path is different. So don’t judge your success against someone else’s. Don’t compare your progress to another’s. DO look at where you started to where you are now. Use yourself as a reference point. Do and say what makes you happy. Live true to you, regardless of what others think or say.

    It’s your life, MAKE IT EPIC!

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