Letting go of the Helper

We said goodbye to our helper of three years last weekend. It was the end of her contract, and with both my wife and I at home, we simply didn’t need a stay-at-home helper any longer.

It was sad to say farewell to someone who had lived with us. She had taken good care of the family these last few years, including my newborn son. We really needed the help, and she was honest and diligent. She must have been through many tired nights, waking up to comfort my son when he was little. I’m incredibly thankful that she was around.

We made sure she moved to a good employer and family. The market is very positive now for transfer maids because of the COVID-19 situation. They can’t come in from overseas at the moment, and seems like there is a lack of supply. She had a few job offers (more than what I got), and got a pay increase to boot. It was unfortunate that she couldn’t go home to the Philippines first, but she understands the situation. We compensated her with cash for the plane ticket as well as a goodbye bonus.

I was a bit apprehensive because I was very pampered. I didn’t do laundry or wash dishes for three years. Her leaving meant a big change in our lifestyle, and we aren’t sure if we can adjust.

But there is little excuse now with us staying at home. Learning to do things ourselves is also a part of being financially independent. If I was still working I would have probably continued to have a helper. It is simply exhausting to have a full day of work, and still come back to do housework. I really don’t get how others do it.

There are other plus points too, and I have been spending more time with my kid. It’s the little moments like showering, feeding, and sleeping together, which I realise are just as important than cramming all the family time on the weekends.

I think both she and us will be alright.

2 comments

  1. Many many years ago, I have a Norwegian older friend who told me that he regretted that when his daughters are young, he have not spend enough time carrying them, because once they are 5 yo, they will not even want you to carry anymore. Hence, your physical intimacy with your kids is really between 1 to 4 yo.

    After hearing that, I seldom use strollers anymore for all my kids, unless really necessary. It was all handcarry… I love the physical closeness with them when they are small… also, arms becoming bigger …hahaha

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