Talking about children can be very annoying for some people, and I would advise them to skip this post. But I’m writing for myself, and to keep notes about how my kid is doing. Otherwise, it’s easy to forget.
My son is about 3.5 years now, and is remarkably bright. He can add and subtract using his fingers, and count to around 30. Speech-wise, grammar and sentence structure are all good. I’m confident he understands 90% of what we are saying to him. He can spell using the keyboard, and is starting to write his own name and words on his drawings. No problems naming and describing animals and humans either. But despite his intelligence, he’s still shitting his pants. Potty-training is a mystery to him.
Another noteworthy trait is his insane energy. He must have put all his points into stamina and vitality when creating his character. He stopped needing afternoon naps since 3 years old, and doesn’t sleep till about 10.30pm. He wakes late too, and he generally strolls into his child care centre at around 10am. If this guy was my colleague, I would be pretty pissed. We have tried everything to get him to sleep earlier, but doesn’t work. Still, he is developing well and I don’t think its something to be especially worried about.
One concern is that he doesn’t like to play with other kids. He prefers to be play by himself, and though other kids recognise and call him, he seems to ignore them. He is fairly strong-willed and individualistic, and its quite difficult to get him to do something he doesn’t want. I would be worried if I’m raising a sociopath, but he is affectionate with us and his granny. He freely gives and receives hugs and kisses.
Most importantly, he is a happy kid. It’s just apparent how cheerful he is, and he laughs easily. This is my biggest achievement as a person. If the only thing I achieved in life is for him to grow up to be a happy and good man, I would be content. It would be enough to make all the sacrifices and troubles worth it.
The kind of father I would like to be is like Joseph Schooling’s father. His parents recognised early his talent and put him in the right environment to thrive. A big part of my job is to recognise what my kid is good at and keep nurturing him in that. I don’t want to force him into a certain career like being a doctor or a lawyer. He should find his own ikigai, the centre of the venn diagram of happiness, meaning and money.
He is growing up fast, while I’m getting older. Not quite 35 anymore. A fear I have is not being there for him. While all parents dread this, its especially pertinent to me given my health. It’s of no use to worry about the future, nor to look back at the past with regret. The only reality we have is the present, and I am trying to live fully in it.
Everyday I’m thankful that he is in my life, and I can only hope to be a good father to him with the time I have.